This is what the last two days posts felt like...
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Further Evidence Rick Pitino Has No Morals
I am on fire right now. What a start to the blogging season! I am in the process of blowing everyone in the blogging field out of the water right now. Watch out...
From ESPN.com (mainly...)
LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Louisville basketball players Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings each will face only one charge stemming from their involvement in an altercation with off-duty police officers during the weekend.
The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum of one year in jail and a $5,000 fine. The police report initially asked the pair be charged with multiple counts.
Jennings, a 6-foot-10 sophomore from Sacramento, Calif., and Smith, a 6-foot-2 senior from Wauwatosa, Wis., are scheduled to appear Monday morning in Jeffersonville City Court.
Pitino told ESPN.com, "They will be punished and are being punished right now. But no, they will not miss game time. This is not a big deal. It's not like they raped a crazy, drunken coug and then paid for her abortion..."
The police report said several off-duty officers -- all of whom were wearing T-shirts with "Police" clearly marked on the front and back -- were working at the party when a fight broke out inside.
However, Jennings said he wasn't aware at the time he was being confronted by off-duty police. Teachers report Jennings is functionally illiterate.
Officers needed to strike Jennings twice with a Taser to subdue him, as Jennings screamed.
"I think Jerry saw a teammate on the ground and didn't want to abandon him," Pitino said. Adding, "I mean, in Jerry's defense, it's not like Jennings is a fetus. He can't just be abandoned."
"I think he saw a teammate taking some pretty good blows and tried to help." Pitino when on to say, "I wish my assistant had come to my aid that night at Porcini when he heard me taking some pretty good blows. You know, before I did something stupid in the kitchen..."
Dana O'Neil covers college basketball for ESPN.com and can be reached at espnoneil@live.com. Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.
Todd writes a foul-mouthed blog and likes to insert jokes perfectly into the context of legitimate news stories. He can be reached at uconn77duke74.com@gmail.com.
From ESPN.com (mainly...)
LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Louisville basketball players Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings each will face only one charge stemming from their involvement in an altercation with off-duty police officers during the weekend.
The misdemeanor charge carries a maximum of one year in jail and a $5,000 fine. The police report initially asked the pair be charged with multiple counts.
Jennings, a 6-foot-10 sophomore from Sacramento, Calif., and Smith, a 6-foot-2 senior from Wauwatosa, Wis., are scheduled to appear Monday morning in Jeffersonville City Court.
Pitino told ESPN.com, "They will be punished and are being punished right now. But no, they will not miss game time. This is not a big deal. It's not like they raped a crazy, drunken coug and then paid for her abortion..."
The police report said several off-duty officers -- all of whom were wearing T-shirts with "Police" clearly marked on the front and back -- were working at the party when a fight broke out inside.
However, Jennings said he wasn't aware at the time he was being confronted by off-duty police. Teachers report Jennings is functionally illiterate.
Officers needed to strike Jennings twice with a Taser to subdue him, as Jennings screamed.
"I think Jerry saw a teammate on the ground and didn't want to abandon him," Pitino said. Adding, "I mean, in Jerry's defense, it's not like Jennings is a fetus. He can't just be abandoned."
"I think he saw a teammate taking some pretty good blows and tried to help." Pitino when on to say, "I wish my assistant had come to my aid that night at Porcini when he heard me taking some pretty good blows. You know, before I did something stupid in the kitchen..."
Dana O'Neil covers college basketball for ESPN.com and can be reached at espnoneil@live.com. Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.
Todd writes a foul-mouthed blog and likes to insert jokes perfectly into the context of legitimate news stories. He can be reached at uconn77duke74.com@gmail.com.
Quote of the Week
Our quote of the week comes from the annual Husky Run last weekend. We sent our "man on the street" out to cover the event. He reported the following, which is out first Quote OF theweek!
Jerome Dyson (running past a pack of co-eds): "Banged her, banged her, gangbanged her, just oral, banged her, just anal..."
Jerome Dyson (running past a pack of co-eds): "Banged her, banged her, gangbanged her, just oral, banged her, just anal..."
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Jonathan Mandeldove Out
Jonathan Mandeldove will not play in the first semester, as reported by the Hartford Courant's Mike Anthony. I have been waiting for some kind of 'Dove news to share an entertaining evening I had with him a few months ago.
I was with some friends "paying the electric bill" at one of Tolland's finest establishments. We were sitting at the stage when 'Dove came wandering over and sat next to me.
People say he has a great sense of humor, so I decided to have some fun with him. We talked for a bit and then I started throwing dollars on the stage in front of him. When my first dollar missed and fell to the floor I shouted, "Look Dove! My jump shot is just as bad as yours!"
We offered to get some thoroughly vetted talent to help ease the pain of what Stone Mountain's finest had been reduced to, but he refused and sought out someone more to his liking. I told him to have fun back there, and if she choked to death it was her own fault.
When he came back I had some fun asking dancers, "Hey, do you know who this is?" When they said no I would just laugh and tell them, "Neither does anyone else!"
I suppose I might have been a bit harsh on 'Dove, but he took it in stride. I guess when you spend three years at UConn getting eviscerated by Jimmy Calhoun there isn't much I can say to upset you. Thankfully I was smart enough not to bring up our blog and the old JMFSSW
Good luck 'Dove, too bad you fattened up from the delectable Blue Buffett. Those pretzels and chips are irrrresistable!
I was with some friends "paying the electric bill" at one of Tolland's finest establishments. We were sitting at the stage when 'Dove came wandering over and sat next to me.
People say he has a great sense of humor, so I decided to have some fun with him. We talked for a bit and then I started throwing dollars on the stage in front of him. When my first dollar missed and fell to the floor I shouted, "Look Dove! My jump shot is just as bad as yours!"
We offered to get some thoroughly vetted talent to help ease the pain of what Stone Mountain's finest had been reduced to, but he refused and sought out someone more to his liking. I told him to have fun back there, and if she choked to death it was her own fault.
When he came back I had some fun asking dancers, "Hey, do you know who this is?" When they said no I would just laugh and tell them, "Neither does anyone else!"
I suppose I might have been a bit harsh on 'Dove, but he took it in stride. I guess when you spend three years at UConn getting eviscerated by Jimmy Calhoun there isn't much I can say to upset you. Thankfully I was smart enough not to bring up our blog and the old JMFSSW
Good luck 'Dove, too bad you fattened up from the delectable Blue Buffett. Those pretzels and chips are irrrresistable!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yesterday morning Dan and I were discussing when to get the blog back together. Well, thankfully Rick Pitino gave us the jumpstart we needed. I mean, rape AND abortion...you know what that is....
Here's some cheap one liners
-More overpriced: Those white suits Pitino wears, or 3k for an abortion?
-Coincidental: Pitino gave her the "old mushroom head" at a restaurant, Porcini, which is named after a mushroom.
-Pitino's pick up line: How bout a little gabagool in ya vag-arooney, ohhh!
-Finding themselves without lube Sypher went in the kitchen and got some garlic oil. Pitino told authorities he thought it was a clam sauce. So where did the fish smell come from?
-We've heard about Pitino's assistant, Vinnie Tatum, who was in the restaurant while the act occurred, however Pitino had another assistant with him as well, which has not been widely disseminated in the media reports. His name: Cialis.
-Tatum told police he had laid down in a booth and was unable to hear much other than what sounded to him like consensual sex. Also obstructing his hearing...his own moans while he masturbated.
Here's some cheap one liners
-More overpriced: Those white suits Pitino wears, or 3k for an abortion?
-Coincidental: Pitino gave her the "old mushroom head" at a restaurant, Porcini, which is named after a mushroom.
-Pitino's pick up line: How bout a little gabagool in ya vag-arooney, ohhh!
-Finding themselves without lube Sypher went in the kitchen and got some garlic oil. Pitino told authorities he thought it was a clam sauce. So where did the fish smell come from?
-We've heard about Pitino's assistant, Vinnie Tatum, who was in the restaurant while the act occurred, however Pitino had another assistant with him as well, which has not been widely disseminated in the media reports. His name: Cialis.
-Tatum told police he had laid down in a booth and was unable to hear much other than what sounded to him like consensual sex. Also obstructing his hearing...his own moans while he masturbated.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Hiatus...
If you haven't noticed I've completely given up on this site now that the season is over. It was a good run while it lasted. Thanks to all four of you who checked in regularly, it was an honor to try to make you laugh. We'll try to make a comeback for next season and also address the upcoming suspensions/probation/etc.
A final word on the season and the National Championship: We didn't deserve it, and it was really gravy to make it so far after the Dyson injury. God bless UNC, not just for the big -7.5 championship cover, but for their fans. Below is the clip of Franklin Street going crazy - 30k fans and TWO arrests depite about 50 mini bonfires.
Now if that is UCONN there are MAYBE 100 people running around campus because, 1- our school is now Lame, and 2- there would have been about 200 state police and Uconn police on horses and riot gear. One bonfire and the tear gas would have been flying. Disgusting...
A final word on the season and the National Championship: We didn't deserve it, and it was really gravy to make it so far after the Dyson injury. God bless UNC, not just for the big -7.5 championship cover, but for their fans. Below is the clip of Franklin Street going crazy - 30k fans and TWO arrests depite about 50 mini bonfires.
Now if that is UCONN there are MAYBE 100 people running around campus because, 1- our school is now Lame, and 2- there would have been about 200 state police and Uconn police on horses and riot gear. One bonfire and the tear gas would have been flying. Disgusting...
Friday, April 3, 2009
Crazy People
One of my biggest problems, particularly when I someday get a job, is I still laugh uncontrollably at juvenile words. Let's say I was in a meeting and someone told me I needed to do 'double-duty.' Or better yet the commercials for 'super-duty' trucks. They get me every time. Anyway, I took great joy in seeing this coach go crazy earlier in the week. Yes- because she says 'poop.' Poop, my friends. That's another reason womens basketball cannot be taken seriously.
Other reasons: Breakaway Lay-ups, Fat chicks, Ugly chicks
As a result of nothing fun happening at the Final Four yet, I've decided to post this lady's rant and a bunch of other great coaching meltdowns.
By the way, how fearful was her husband (or life partner) of that woman coming home that night. That's gonna be some ROUGH sex, yikes...
Other fun ones...
-Denny Green
-Mike Gundy
-Jimmy C, I took Emeka!
-Jimmy C, reporter
-Herm Edwards
-Hal McRae
-Jim Mora
-Allen Iverson, and yes, I know he's not a coach - but I love the way he's faded this year while Ray continues to thrive.
Other reasons: Breakaway Lay-ups, Fat chicks, Ugly chicks
As a result of nothing fun happening at the Final Four yet, I've decided to post this lady's rant and a bunch of other great coaching meltdowns.
By the way, how fearful was her husband (or life partner) of that woman coming home that night. That's gonna be some ROUGH sex, yikes...
Other fun ones...
-Denny Green
-Mike Gundy
-Jimmy C, I took Emeka!
-Jimmy C, reporter
-Herm Edwards
-Hal McRae
-Jim Mora
-Allen Iverson, and yes, I know he's not a coach - but I love the way he's faded this year while Ray continues to thrive.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Jesus!
While I take a quick break between playing 36 today - take that you cubicle ridden bitches, 65 and sunny, look how im livin America! - thought I would post the finishing touches of Ray's masterpiece from last night.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Randoms
April Fools Joke of the Day
Thabeet's Facebook Status this morning: "OMG!!! Why Me? SO I Failed Drug Test.. NOt GOIn To Detroit.. MY Boys Do IT for ME!!! fuckin suprise drug test!!! ahhh My Life SUCKS!!!!! damn!" I hate April Fools jokes, but I gotta admit thats a good one. Pretty fucking funny for a guy who barely speaks English.
-I'm hoping Tom Izzo's wife Lupe does something stupid this week so I can title a post "Lupe Fiasco" If not I'll just resort to making Mexican janitor jokes.
-VERY excited for the McDonald's All-American game tonight. Alex Oriakhi is on the East squad and should get some decent minutes, so that's cool. John Wall got left off the team, reportedly because he is a 5th year senior. I think the folks at McDonald's got hold of this VICIOUS dunk that DeQuan Jones threw on him and made up that whole 5th year thing. I cant find a line, but I'll make the East -3.5
-Im sorry, i got nothing today...still too hungover. I should have my fastball back in a couple days once Final Four practices start.
Thabeet's Facebook Status this morning: "OMG!!! Why Me? SO I Failed Drug Test.. NOt GOIn To Detroit.. MY Boys Do IT for ME!!! fuckin suprise drug test!!! ahhh My Life SUCKS!!!!! damn!" I hate April Fools jokes, but I gotta admit thats a good one. Pretty fucking funny for a guy who barely speaks English.
-I'm hoping Tom Izzo's wife Lupe does something stupid this week so I can title a post "Lupe Fiasco" If not I'll just resort to making Mexican janitor jokes.
-VERY excited for the McDonald's All-American game tonight. Alex Oriakhi is on the East squad and should get some decent minutes, so that's cool. John Wall got left off the team, reportedly because he is a 5th year senior. I think the folks at McDonald's got hold of this VICIOUS dunk that DeQuan Jones threw on him and made up that whole 5th year thing. I cant find a line, but I'll make the East -3.5
-Im sorry, i got nothing today...still too hungover. I should have my fastball back in a couple days once Final Four practices start.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Synergy!
Florida guard Nick Calathes announced for the draft today.
Which... gives me the opportunity to post this video of the Florida professor who was stoned out of his mind - more likely tripping, in my professional opinion - and got fired because he filmed his own class and the administration saw it. Really worth the view.
Which... gives me the opportunity to post this video of the Florida professor who was stoned out of his mind - more likely tripping, in my professional opinion - and got fired because he filmed his own class and the administration saw it. Really worth the view.
Actual News!
Amazingly UConn was able to land 6-2 SG Darius Smith from Chicago today...without the help of Josh Nochimson! (presumably). Here's his scouts.com link
I don't know what the coaching staff told him because right now I'd be afraid of next years post-season ban. Oyyy. Anyway, I like players from the Bronx and Chicago when it comes to guards. So I'm excited.
I don't know what the coaching staff told him because right now I'd be afraid of next years post-season ban. Oyyy. Anyway, I like players from the Bronx and Chicago when it comes to guards. So I'm excited.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Michigan St. 64, Louisville 52
Thank god that Detroit looks like this now and no locals have money to buy tickets and root for Michigan St. It's gonna be a virtual homegame...
Also, thanks to Rick Pitino for ordering Louisville to tank so that UConn could have a clear road to the championship game. I guess we beat them so thoroughly earlier this year that Pitino couldn't handle the embarrassment that next week would have brought.
Michigan St. is going to be an ideal matchup. I'm giddy. UConn will probably be a 3or4 point favorite even though the game is in Detroit. Unfortunately Gavin Edwards will probably have to play a lot because Thabeet CAN NOT be allowed to run around with Goran Sutan. Other than that I'm feelin...
so - Final Four next week and the Masters the week after. In honor of those two weeks here are some cart girls from MSU.
Also, thanks to Rick Pitino for ordering Louisville to tank so that UConn could have a clear road to the championship game. I guess we beat them so thoroughly earlier this year that Pitino couldn't handle the embarrassment that next week would have brought.
Michigan St. is going to be an ideal matchup. I'm giddy. UConn will probably be a 3or4 point favorite even though the game is in Detroit. Unfortunately Gavin Edwards will probably have to play a lot because Thabeet CAN NOT be allowed to run around with Goran Sutan. Other than that I'm feelin...
so - Final Four next week and the Masters the week after. In honor of those two weeks here are some cart girls from MSU.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Ohhhhh Skeet skeet skeet skeet
UCONN 82, MIZZOU 75
An appropriate tribute to what these kids did this week in the face of amazing adversity. Take that, NCAA
That will be all until I can coherently gather my thoughts...
An appropriate tribute to what these kids did this week in the face of amazing adversity. Take that, NCAA
That will be all until I can coherently gather my thoughts...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Get ya popcorn, er, iPod ready
Tonight is gonna be a music night - I'm muting the TV like Billy Packer is back behind the mic. Cause all you're going to hear about is this Miles/Majok thing. The bright side of things, should you choose to listen to the broadcast, is that Miles/Majok might keep the announcers from telling us that 'aj price's dad tony played at Penn and got to a Final Four' and 'here's gavin edwards, his father earl played in the NFL.' So we got that goin' for us..
Since I've been enrolled at UConn a few crazy things have happened. There was the girl killed in a crosswalk by that drunk dude, the teacher who got shot in the head last year, and a handful of rapes/sexual assaults. There is always a different feeling on campus the day after something like that happens. But yesterday afternoon and today it was like everyone's best friend got raped. It's just a very sad place to be right now...
Also, congratulations to Rocky Mountain College for winning the NAIA Championship last night. To pay homage to their school the players celebrated with these.
Since I've been enrolled at UConn a few crazy things have happened. There was the girl killed in a crosswalk by that drunk dude, the teacher who got shot in the head last year, and a handful of rapes/sexual assaults. There is always a different feeling on campus the day after something like that happens. But yesterday afternoon and today it was like everyone's best friend got raped. It's just a very sad place to be right now...
Also, congratulations to Rocky Mountain College for winning the NAIA Championship last night. To pay homage to their school the players celebrated with these.
I Love AJ Price
The most dynamic scoring point guard in college basketball is a pretty good interview too...
Pedro Gomez: Is it a distraction at all?
AJ: uhh no, not at all.
Gomez: Even having to answer these questions like this that you normally wouldn't have to if this report wasn't out there?
AJ: no not at all. I like it. It gives me more face time. We're here to win games, that's all we care about.
Amen! Yesterday I was quite worried about this indeed being a distraction. Not anymore. If you think that AJ and Jeff Adrien are going to allow this team to lose - you are crazy. If anything I'm more confident in this team now than I was two days ago. Dare I say...
Pedro Gomez: Is it a distraction at all?
AJ: uhh no, not at all.
Gomez: Even having to answer these questions like this that you normally wouldn't have to if this report wasn't out there?
AJ: no not at all. I like it. It gives me more face time. We're here to win games, that's all we care about.
Amen! Yesterday I was quite worried about this indeed being a distraction. Not anymore. If you think that AJ and Jeff Adrien are going to allow this team to lose - you are crazy. If anything I'm more confident in this team now than I was two days ago. Dare I say...
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