Jeremy Hazell Shot Once In Robbery

Seton Hall guard Jeremy Hazell was shot once on Christmas during a robbery attempt. He is alive and
fine and all that, so let's get on to the jokes!

Possible headlines:

-Gunner gets gunned down

-Gunner gets his shot

-Hazell takes one shot, least shots ever taken

-On the court, only one shot would have killed him

-Bobby Gonzalez sought in attempted murder of Hazell

what, too soon?

Happy Birthday, Jesus

I'm probably going to hell, or die even earlier than anticipated, for this but Happy Birthday, Jesus!



Amazing trailer from an amazing film. The trailer captured many of the best scenes from the movie...

(in order of appearance)

1) - The baby Jesus getting worked out, at night, by Denzel.

2) - The governor wanted Jesus to go to "Big State" but only decided to play the Denzel card with "...the N.C. two A deadline a week away."

2a) - Big State. Really, Spike? I thought you were an all-time great filmmaker but you couldn't get the rights to anything so you settled on "Big State?" Really, Spike? Really? I mean, Come on...

3) - Ray: "What did I tell you about letting strangers in the house?!?"
Sister: "He's not a stranger, he's our father."
Ray: "I don't have a father!"

4) - Coach: "That's ten thousand dollars..."
Ray: "I don't need that money coach. (thinking to himself: Calipari gave Marcus Camby at least 26k and a harem of prostitutes and you're gonna offer me 10k with a straight face?!?! Fuck you, Whitey.) annnnnnd scene!

5 - The ankle monitor/arthritis scene. "Yeahhh, it's contagious."

6- Ray: "Jesus! Jesus! Why you name me that anyway?"
Denzel: "It's a biblical name."
Ray: "Yeah, no shit."

7 - It is, indeed, A Spike Lee Joint.

8 - The Coaches Montage, including Dean Smith and a Kansas Roy Williams. AWESOME!


Merry Chistmas

The NEW "I Love Wolf" Anchorman Cast T-Shirt

Be a part of the Enosch Wolf(pack) and show your support with the Anchorman cast "I love Wolf" t-shirt.

Unveiling the NEW Brick Tamland "I Love Lamb" T-Shirt

No one knows what they love about life more than Brick Tamland. He loves carpet, he loves desk, he loves lamp. But more than anything, he loves Jeremy Lamb.

The "Holy Shit This Game Is Still Close I Better Get Some Scotch And Make This a Live Blog" Live Blog

10:40: 44-41
Tyler Olander beasts it (strong from all that cow tipping, a Mansfield pastime!) to take a 5 pt lead. I realized something about Olander earlier in this game, which I will get to after this rushed live blog.

10:06, 46-41
Roscoe Smith with a vicious swat into the 10th (ish) section. Crowd going crazy, perhaps I just effectively reverse jinxed UConn by starting this blog...

9:50, 46-41
A terrible charge call on Beverly draws the ire of Calhoun. I used to get sad when Beverly got taken out, but now it means Shabazz Napier Time!!!!

9:20
UNH makes a corner 3. Pesky (catamounts, black bears...what are kind of northern mascot are you people??) UNH makes it 46-45

8:51, 49-45
Napier with the And-1 to widen the UConn lead. Great defense on the way back, as well. I love this kid! 8 pts on the night

8:24, 49-48
STOP MAKING THREES!

8:05
Unless, of course, you are Shabazz Napier! A fearless three extends the UConn lead to 52-48. Napier is earning the italics I wrote his name in upon entering the game. 11 for him, 22 for Kemba, 19 for the rest of these mopes...

7:30, 52-48
Napier turns the ball over but had a UNH defender jumping at his pump fake from 25 feet. Get used to seeing a lot of that. This kid has some Rashad Anderson Fish Fry (TM) in him.

7:18
Hard foul on a Giffey breakaway. Camera flashes to first shot I've ever seen of German flag in the Student Section or any section of a UConn game for that matter. I'm speechless. Giffey goes 1-2, 53-48

5:18
End of Love Fest...TERRIBLE clear out three at the end of shotclock by Napier. Calhoun better get him the fuck outta there.

4:53
Really, Jimmy? Leaving him in here, ey? I guess this move speaks to how well Napier defends cause the way he ran that set was inexcusable. Somewhere Curtis Kelley is yelling at the TV (and probably Frank Martin as well) asking how Napier didn't get pulled. And somewhere else Scotty Harrelson and his amputated legs/knee replacements/tendonitis are screaming the same thing.

4:42
Two clanked free throws by UNH, after Napier's three started the fastbreak for them, leads to Kemba weaving through the lane for a layup and a 7 point lead. THANK GOD FOR KEMBA WALKER.

3:05
Two free throws by Kemba makes it 57-48. I know it's only UNH, but is there anyone in the nation who is going to be able to defend Kemba's speed/handle? I don't think so

2:17, 57-50
Kemba steals the postgame award for "Best Way to Kill a Crucial Possession" from Napier. Take that, Freshman! Meanwhile, Napier is writhing in pain after crashing into the bench while chasing Kemba's long rebound. Great...

1:05
He's more than just the Best Point Guard in College Basketball, he's also a teacher...Kemba yells at Roscoe Smith before the UNH inbounds "think, think, use your head!"

1:00, 58-53
UNH makes a long three just as the game looks in hand. Of course they do..

0:43
UConn is 19-24 from the line. They are winning games this year because of how well they are shooting from the line. More on this later in the week...

0:28
Kemba strokes in another FT for his 30th point of the night.

Final: UConn 62, UNH 55
Good night and god bless

I'm on a Boat, motherfucker!

UConn recruit Ryan Boatright puts up a fancy 55-10-10 over the holiday weekend.

http://www.maxpreps.com/news/13MuCfpMEd-XkQAcxJSkrA/uconn-bound-ryan-boatright-scores-55,-duke-signee-austin-rivers-goes-for-46.htm

(via Mike Anthony, courant.com)

I know what you're thinking...Todd didn't really do anything here because he simply took the link from Mike Anthony's blog. However, I did do something which Anthony cannot...I got to make an enjoyable play on Boatwright's name in my Headline and include the word 'motherfucker.'

Early Impressions

What I think of a few UConn players so far this year...

Neils Giffey -
Woah, woah, woah..he's white? I guess just cause his last name sounded like Ken Griffey's I figured he was black. I should have given a little more weight to Giffey being from Germany. Anyway, he's no star but he's shown he is a scraper and if he gets his shot down he could be a real threat. Expect Giffey to go by "The CT Nowitzki" in no time. OR he could be Ben Eaves 2.0...

Tyler Olander -
While were on the topic of goofy white fellas, let's get to The Pride of Storrs, CT...Tyler Olander. Sure I'm startled by his initials being T.O., but I like him and moreover no kid from Storrs has gotten as much playing time as Olander since the Jeff Calhoun era. Think he's getting TV time now? Just wait til he starts doing ProActiv commercials...

Shabazz Napier -
Did I spell that right? Anyway, I look forward to a lot of this kid. He has star quality and probably also has every pussy in the greater Mansfield area just dripping wet. Good for you, Shabazz...

Kenna Walker -
I'm sorry, who are you and where did this fellow who has taken over your body come from??

Jeremy Lamb -
"I Love Lamb!" t-shirts with the face of Brick Tamland coming soon. Pre-order at uconn77duke74@gmail.com.

Roscoe Smith -
Thus far you are a disappointment to me. Ever notice Jimmy C's best players aren't his McDonalds All-Americans? The Okafors, Butlers, and Gordons of the world weren't hotly recruited but Jimmy made them, and many others, into top NBA draft picks. Roscoe...you sir, have work to do.

Alex Oriakhi - He is one of a few things... 1) Kevin Freeman with more size/athleticism. 2) a literate Johnnie Selvie. 3) Jeff Adrien with coordination.

I am rooting for #1, however, none of those are an insult.

Where was this two months ago?

Georgetown's Austin Freeman has been diagnosed with diabetes. Normally I wouldn't make fun of something like this (yes I would), but Freeman dropped 28 on UConn in the second half of that dick-punch rally game at Gtown this year...so fuck'em.

I think this video will help Austin better understand the disease he has to live with.

Senior Day!

Senior Day is usually filled with tears, flowers, and framed jerseys. But after 4 years of waiting we finally get to see FORMER NFL STAR EARL EDWARDS!!!! Did you know his son Gavin plays power forward for UConn?

Caronimo!

I meant to post this when the trade went down, but, well, it was a long weekend. Anyway, when Jeff Van Gundy said Caron had "too many field goal attempts tonight" I remembered it was on me to show JVG who's boss. Try to watch this clip and not get misty...

Jerome Dyson: Tweeting to Victory

Jerome Dyson isn't a regular Tweeter but he fired off 4 nice ones today. Let's see what Jerome was up to before upsetting Nova...

slicenanddice I hate morning unless I'm waking up to something sexy. (11hrs ago)
My Take: I couldn't agree more. It's why I get in a nice naked flex before my shower every morning. But seriously, that's a nice job by Jerome - up to five different women who slept with him this wk might feel this tweet is just for them...

slicenanddice Shoot around (10 hrs ago)

slicenanddice Bout to get one of those good o philly steak and cheese (8hrs ago)
My Take: As someone who dabbles in Paleo (I try to follow the rules- except those about alcohol) I do not view this as a healthy pregame meal. Having said that, it's better than Lamar Odom eating candy (or Khloe Kardashian's pussy, for that matter...) as his pregame meal.

slicenanddice bout to take a fuckin nap (7hrs ago)
My Take: Is a "Fuckin Nap" the same thing as a Wet Dream?

UPDATE:
slicenanddice That's a fuck road win ppl
My Take: Yes it is. Yes. It. Is.

A 77-74.com Field Trip!

For the first time in the history of this mess the entire 77-74.com staff will be broadcasting to you from the Extra Large Center at Noon as the Huskies take on Marquette.

Hilarity is expected on the part of 77-74.com; what is expected from UConn is still up in the air. The past two games they've shown the "rich man/poor man" versions of the teams, with a 14 point blowout over #1 Texas and a 15 point loss to unranked Providence. I can't remember any UConn team having two more different performances back to back like this. So again, anything is in play this afternoon; Kemba may change Jordan's 15 times midgame, Calhoun might make a glorious return to the bench only to have to leave with IBS, Mandeldove might even play!! (Ok, i added the last one for effect. Maybe the last two. But Kemba does change shoes more than Tiger changes white blonde women)

Look at it this way; let's say you're a college kid, decide to go to the bar on a Friday night. Start celebrating a little bit, have a little too much to drink, and suddenly everyone in the bar starts looking good. Really good. You walk up and start talking to some young lady, the conversation gets good, you buy her a few drinks, maybe go to the dance floor (hopefully no one has swooped in for the robbery by this point). and from here, yadi yadi yada, you go back to her place, a few more yadi yada's and then you wake up the next morning. and all of a sudden this once attractive female is a zoo creature, and you start to feel naucious. (this is not gender specific ladies; and if you've never woken up to someone the next morning and said 'shit, probably shouldnt have done that', THEN YOU'RE THAT PERSON!)

texas was that night at the bar; providence was the morning after.

Live Updates to Come...

-4-

Curtis Kelly Isn't Used to Press Conferences

Skip to "Not Top Play" #8 at the 0:31 mark. If this UConn reject can clean up against Texas then I think we have a chance.

Jimmy and The Team

One of the components of "The Year of Todd" was to become famous. So when I broke the news about Calhoun and a health issue an hour or two before the mainstream media I expected to get some credit. Imagine my great surprise today when I was not referenced in any media reports and, even more shockingly, Andy Katz failed to drop my name in his coverage of the UConn/St.Johns Wednesday. This was my big chance to get famous! Andy, what the fuck? I even waited until Friday to post this and sure enough still no credit being given.

I shouldn't have been so surprised. This isn't the first time 77-74dotcom has broken news and not been credited for it. There was the Harkless recruitment in late 2009, the Dyson knee injury last spring...I guess I just thought this one was different. I think I deserve some credit for these stories, let alone the things I saw and never said a word about back when I lived on campus.


As for the Calhoun health issue - I'm not worried. Many people in/around the program say he hates this group of players...which is nice, it makes him just like the fans. I've finally snapped on Kemba Walker. Gavin's play is disproportionately controlled by his white half. I love that college ball is dictated by point guards and I hate that ours plays out of control and is backed up by Donnell Beverly (who I am being forced to like) and a bunch of freshmen. I hate that our offense consists of Jerome playing out of control and Alex or Stanley trying to put back his miss. I hate that Stanley Robinson has developed into a PLAYER and no one can get him the ball. I hate that teams can zone us and, until the second half against St. Johns, get away with it. More than anything else, I hate that we play with no heart. None. No heart at all.

I think Jimmy could be back very soon - like, within 30 days. But this team needs to show it cares. It need to show it cares about playing at UConn and show it cares about it's coach. The sooner they exude even a fraction of Jimmy's desire the sooner he will be back.

I understand why Jimmy is stressed. I am one of the most unapologetic homers you will ever see and even I have trouble liking this team. I love Stanley. I came in my pants when the Chuckwagon did that face up/baseline/reverse layup in the second half against the Johnnies. I like what Alex is becoming. I am warming to Donnell just because Kemba is so awful and I really dislike the majority of the rest of the team. Oh, and I cannot root for Jerome Dyson - he's a punk.

UConn basketball has always been fun for me. This isn't fun. If I was Jimmy I wouldn't want to be a part of it either...

Rumor Mongering on a Rainy Afternoon

take it with a grain of salt, or maybe a whole rock of it, but a source close to the UConn program just told me "I'm hearing there is some big Calhoun news coming out soon. Not sure what just thought I'd let ya know..."

I am extremely worried about it being a health issue. In any case, I'm not sure who could step in and run this team if this is a long-term issue. Glass half full says maybe this is the thing which galvanizes the team. We need focus... Having Blaney and his gentler approach at the helm might not be a terrible thing in the short term.

Jimmy - I hope all is well...

And THIS is why reporters hate bloggers

Monday "I can write this cause I quit (well, greatly reduced) my drinking" Notes

-It's not funny: UConn falls out of the top 25 for first time since January 2008. I feel like an ACC school...this is horrible

-UConn recruit Corey Joseph had 23pts and 9boards for #3 Findlay Prep in a one point victory over the #1 ranked team in the ESPN Fab 50 or whatever it's called. The kid is a player - hopefully we get lucky and land him but I'm quite skeptical of our chances.

-Farmington's finest, Tim Abromaitis, had 26pts in a loss to Syracuse. Where was this performance when UConn blew out Notre Dame earlier this year?!? If he'd shot the lights we might have been witness to something like this...

-Does anyone have tickets for UConn/Texas? The mid-day tip and lengthy on-campus pregame promises to be the greatest live blog in the history of live blogs. uconn77duke74@gmail.com - I will pay, or do, anything. Eh-nee-thing. Anything...

-Just saw Rick Barnes interviewed by Holly Rowe at the half. Talk about overcompensating for a regional dialect, Barnes sounds like Yosemite Sam! Did he talk like Tony Soprano when he coached Providence!?! I expected him to fire and blow the smoke off imaginary hand pistols when the interview was over.

-Get your advance orders in now - "Go Away, Hath Away" t-shirts are currently in production! These will the the first 77-74dotcom joke t-shirts to be produced so get in on a part of basketball parody history! I can't really sell them because there isn't a market and a CT Sales Tax ID is expensive. Good trade offers will be accepted.

-Club Trillion celebrated 2million hits last week, and then beat Purdue.

Ver-we In-tah-vesting

Just got home from dinner - Andre LaFleur and family were sitting a few table over for us...very odd seeing as UConn plays at 1:30 in Michigan tomorrow. Whats going on?

I will note, however, that one of LaFleur's son's has a birthday tonight, as I inferred from the singing and dancing Asian waitstaff. Unless the LaFleur's are one of those families who will do anything for a free piece of cake...

Anyway, assuming it was indeed his son's b-day it still doesn't seem like enough to miss the flight to Michigan. Let's see if anything happens in the next few days - hopefully it's just for recruiting purposes as he has done a great job of assuming the Karl Hobbs/Tom Moore mantle.

Needless to say, I was a bit worried to see him - let's hope this isn't a Clyde Vaughn situation. As Quatro texted me, "Is he with a hooker?" To which I responded, "Wrong asst coach."

I love me some Andre LaFleur - I used to hook him and his son up with golf when I worked at a local country club. Although, one time I hooked him up with three rounds and his buddy only had jeans on, so I leant him my rainpants in mid-summer and didn't get a single dollar for a tip. In fact, it cost me money because I had to get the baby powder smell (in his defense it was like 90 and sunny, that's a lot of sweating under there...) dry cleaned out of them. Terrible.

Oh well, hope all is well with Andre and UConn.

Coming soon...Ray Allen's text to my boss about me the other day and my story about spending a day with Ray - spoiler alert, He's the FUCKING MAN!

UPDATE - LaFleur was on the sideline for the UMich/UConn abortion of a basketball game Sunday afternoon. Guess he was able to celebrate his sons birthday and then catch a late flight out there, once again proving the UConn coaching staff is full of saints and family first guys who any high school recruit's parents should be thrilled to send their son off to...

I Be Spiked Out, I Could Trip a Referee

3:49 - Got another 45 mins of work and I haven't accomplished anything since 1pm. I could not be more excited tonight if I was going to a eros-ny party...

5:00 - We get to Hot Tomatos for dinner. We are surprisingly on time.

5:20 - I find out the Hot Tomatos garlic bread could not be more overrated.

5:30 - The scallops are seared to perfection. The risotto tastes and is cooked like shit. I'm not at all impressed. BUT the scallops were really good.

6:40 - Walking to the XL. A guy is walking down the street screaming, "Tickets, tickets" to which I loud and obnoxiously respond, "What? What are you selling? Could you talk louder? I can't hear you, what?!" He almost punches me as we pass.

6:45 - We get to our seats. Front Row. Very nice.

6:50 - We spot Billy Gochee and Leo Almeida. They are in the fifth row. I walk over to Billy, tell him his seats suck, laugh, tell him to fuck himself, laugh, walk back to my seat, turn around and give him the finger.

6:52 - We decide to go get beers and pee before the game starts.

6:53 - Walking up these stairs from the first row is like a Crossfit workout - one of which I am still hurting from last night.

6:54 - I had a very rich dinner so I take a safety squeeze on an impressively clean toilet seat. Per usual, it's only gas...

6:57 - I meet back up with Schumey and KJ. They got light beers, I went with Bud Heavy. They both immediately acknowledge my veteran savvy - it's alcohol content before taste when 16oz costs $8.

7:12 - Donahue texts me: "Where are you" Todd: "Across from the Pitt bench, front row" Ben: "I see you- you wore maroon so you could hide" We all laugh.

7:38 - Stanley remains extremely good at jumping. Additionally, he has more points than the rest of UConn combined. Not good...

7:50 - at the half: Pitt32, Uconn29

7:53 - while Press Row goes to eat I walk past all their computers. A quick survey shows the majority of writers are stalking women on Facebook, a close second are AIM'ing, and very few are taking game notes or starting their stories.

7:55 - KJ goes to talk to some people. He meets Glenn Boggini and has the following exchange: KJ-yeah I'm here with Todd.
Glenn - where is he?
KJ - he's the faggot in the red sweater over there...
Glenn - isn't that maroon?
Point - KJ is the actual fag..real men know the difference between red and maroon.

7:58 - KJ walks back with Kenny. We exchange hellos and he tells us he has a terrible back problem. Sorrow is expressed.

8:12 - It's extremely frustrating to watch the game from the front row. The heads of the guys in press row keep getting in my way. How do people watch a game like this...

8:18 - extremely long TV timeout. ESPN must had a 30for30 commercial to run.

8:32 - I come back from a pee break and it's a 1pt game. I knew my penis was good luck! Hear that ladies...

8:33 - So it CAN get loud in the XL after all...

8:38 - a white kid and a PR do the Jersey, Shoe, Layup Race. I had big money on the PR kid, but instead of putting the shoes on he tied them together, threw them over the backboard, and sold weed to Jerome Dyson. It was terrible.

8:44 - Jimmy is fucking irate (who's irate?) with Stanley(and why are they in to 3ways?!?)

8:48 - Terrible call by Timmy Higgins and for once he can hear me scream at him.

8:49 - also, I've decided to call all black refs "Reggie Greenwood" I gotta think they'll get upset with this.

8:55 - a one possession game and only 2mins to play. A Pitt player grabs a loose ball and slides across the court like it's a Slip 'N Slide. Somehow Higgins whistles a Timeout for Pitt. On the inbounds pass I rip into him. "Hey Timmy, you know that was a travel...Why do you hate Calhoun? I thought you Irish Catholics were supposed to stick together. You're worse than John Cahill." He glares at me. The guy who brought us cackles with laughter, "You got his attention with that one!"

9:05 - Game over and we head out of XL and to BlackBear. It's trivia night. The DJ/Emcee says, "Guys, if you scream out the answers, we willll throw you out." I repeat this line a million times and it never gets old.

9:30 - Fran Fraschilla walks in. He and John Saunders did the game (lame!). I yell, "Hey, Fran! You got any inside info on Yugoslavian power forwards!?!?" He glares over. It's my second notable college basketball midget glare of the night!

9:40 - after much heckling Fran leaves. too bad.

10:10 - We leave as well. A good night because of great people but a terrible loss. Fucking terrible...

Halftime is a Slowtime

I got no juice for a Live Blog tonite - largely because my last one inadvertently got me in some trouble and elicited a worried text message from one friend on Monday, and moreover because they haven't been funny of late. Sure, I hit it out of the park with my Live Blog from the UConn/Colgate game, but if I'm not there it aint good. Don't worry, friends, I'll be sitting in what have been described as "Spike Lee seats" for the UConn/Pitt game so you will be able to watch me on TV while you read me lighting this blog on fire. I'm a master of all mediums... Until UConn/Pitt, you'll have to survive on this exchange of texts my life coach, Drew Joy, and I just had during the half (he is at the game, I am on my couch).

Drew: I'm confident that we could put a group of sal's placers together we could put a better dance together than the dance team. Looks like dupuis out there...

Todd: It's terrible. Problem is, u put me out there with some James Brown on and they can't play the second half cause the floorboards are literally torn up

Drew: I'd also like to see a blog about how once uconn stopped wearing team shoes their discipline declined drastically [poetry professors got wet over that alliteration]. I have personal experience w/ this if ncesary.

Todd: Hmmmmm I dont think that's true- they won first championship the same year Rip was wearing those sweet Pennys back in 1998-99. No shoes have ever said look at me like those

Drew: True. True. Personally I would probably cut up that sticky rug they step on on the sidelines

Todd: Haha. With all your fingering the whole floor would probably be stick...

Drew: Fine...but they used to at least wear the same color didn't they? Kembas are red/black, dyson white red, stanley black white edwards are blue...give me a break

Drew: Haha

Todd: Why are you so concerned with color? You're a racist

Meanwhile, Stanley's quote earlier in the week about Jeremy Hazell could not have more accurate, "He's a lot like Kobe, and he's nothing at all like Kobe." On it's face this statement sounds like another Stanley-ism. But he's right, Hazell is like Kobe because he is a gunner who will shoot a million times to make sure he gets his numbers. On the other hand, he isn't any kind of Kobe talent at all. At the half, Stanley 8pts on 4-6, Hazell 8pts on 3-11. Stanley Robinson is a beast...