Live Blog- UConn v. Toothpaste

5:30 - I'm going to be honest with you...I am absolutely coming down with some kind of cross between the swine flu and strep throat. I should be sitting at home and asleep early rather than abusively drinking. But much like Jordan, it won't keep me from playing tonight. If there's a game, I'm bringing it- and unlike Jordan I won't need to push off to hit the game winner. I'll be on fire all night, or, more likely, until my iPhone runs out of batteries, gets lost, or is dropped in a pitcher of beer.

There's a lot of easy Colgate jokes to make, for now I'm going to refer to them as Toothpaste, but if they start five Caucasians I'm changing to The White Strips.

Also, I love Toothpaste getting like 28 tonight. They return all five starters and get another guy back who was injured all last year.

6:05 - Just saw AI getting waived by the Griz. The highlight? The footage of AI sitting next to Marcus Williams on the bench - two dead point guards!

7:05 - I have been ordered by the powers that be to drive. Ah the perils of SUV ownership. I was also ordered to clean up the inside of my car (homeless people operate in cleaner environments). I point out that clean is a relative term

8:00 - arrive at Ted's. People want to get food...I disagree. Two pitchers of beers, food is for pussies. Let's go ladies....

9:00 - did the game just tip? Because Chris just opted to let the bartender choose our shots and she picked smirnoff raspberry. Let that be a lesson to u kids- choose your own shots.

910 - the game did tip. At least we didn't have to stand up and clap for that first basket bullshit.

915 - walking to Gampel. I miss college. Not for the people or community but for the nice fall days that = sorority chicks with black spandex and Uggs.

917 - Mack asks 2 hot chicks if they want tickets. From their reaction he may as well have asked them if they wanted to get raped.

924 - Mack asks, "who are we playing?...harvard?". I respond, " no there's only 4 white guys on the floor". And Chris follows with "no- there's no Asians starting"

927 - #13 on colgate is so white he looks like he stars in "Sons of Anarchy."

935 - you know how Duke has it's fans on the floor? Well I just counted 93 open lower bowl seats...on the other side of the arena.

937 - Le Moyne, errr Colgate, takes a 23-22 lead. So this is what sodomy feels like...

940 - Mackinnon asks what uconn is ranked. I respond "14". He says, damn, what is Colgate ranked, 5?

943 - Chris tells me about how the old Uconn cheerleading coach was getting BJs as a prison guard. Take it easy Eric Hayward, ohhhh!

945 - Jimmy takes his jacket off as we trail 24-26. I would rather get an enema than be a player in that locker room

946 - a girl walks in with a Jasper Howard tshirt. She's lucky she hasn't been stabbed yet...too soon?

946 - a trooper just walked in with a police dog...I hope i don't smell like pot too much

949 - Tim Higgins is having a great game

951 - if Stanley misses another free throw he can go back to Ruslyan and Prime Materials...

954- at the half it's... a...ball..game???UConn33, Toothpaste32

956 - as we wonder what the fuck is going on, for the first time that it doesn't relate to the bball team, 2 dozen burka clad and barefoot dancers come to center court and start dancing to Indian music. Fuckin slumdog millionaires out there. Whatever happened to hot chicks in spandex? The basketball was bad enough- we don't need
this shit.

1000 - they look like the Indian backup dancers for either A: the Indianapolis Colts, or B: a super faggy Indian version of the seton hall dancers

1013 -We just upgraded from the last row in 207 to eight rows behind uconn bench. When it's quiet I can hear Jimmy curse.

1017 - the Uconn dance cam : helping homosexuals outta the closet since 1998

1023 - we just made it on the uconn timeout cam. Mack will spend the next 5 minutes telling us what he would have done if he realized he was on camera

1025. If we lose cue the courant headline "Foyle-d Again". Sure he hasn't played there in 10 yrs but that's gold Jerry, gold!

1026 - sticks off glass- cue Billy raftery!

1027 - Timmy higgins wants his lucky charms back...

1032. This game is over. What a lousy effort at a cover. I need sons of anarchy to step it up

1033 - Gavin Edwards on another tip back! His dad Earl played in the NFL

1034 uconn62, colgate44. Cue me and Ben cheering vociferously for Colgate

1035- what's womens basketball? I keep hear the announcer talk about it in timeouts but I've never heard of said activity

1039. Send it in Stanley!

1041. Donnell Beverly is getting minutes. Bad sign for you, colgate

1045- hey, Jonathan Mandeldove, I recognize you from the Electric Blue!

1050 - uconn up 19 and colgate misses a bunny but gets fouled. But he's white so u know he's good from the line

1051. After a missing the first of two free throws, Mack suggests coombs-mcdaniel will "blow a line before he makes one from it"

1053. And were out. Looks like a cover!