Jokes

-I don't think Kyle McAlarney is the only one in his family who has smoked pot. From the looks of his mother, she's had her fair share of the munchies, too...

-Digger Phelps' closet has separate sections for his famous matching fluorescent ties, pocket squares, highlighters, and butt plugs. (By the way, I hate Notre Dame)

-Hey, Norm Roberts, you can have Doug Wiggins now.

-When Bill Raftery is having sex, do you think he repeatedly yells, "Send it in, big fella!" ??

-If you are Jim Calhoun and have beat cancer three times, do you have some kind of tenure over other survivors? Like, does he even have to ask Jim Boeheim how he's doing anymore?

-Edgar Sosa's shot selection is a joke.

-Steve Lavin's attempt to coin the phrase "shut his water off" as a way to say a player has been shut down defensively. As in, "If Jerome Dyson guards him, Dyson will shut his water off." Also, he now goes to commercials with "Timeowwwwwwwwwwwwwt." Furthermore, passing the ball is not called "sharing the sugar." That's a joke.

-Bobby Gonzalez's Life Odds
+600=fired at year end
+450=strangles official midgame
+250=punches opposing coach (most likely Fred Hill) in face during postgame handshakes
EVEN=dies of brain aneurysm in mid-game tirade

Coming Soon:"The Jonathan Mandeldove Facebook Status Suicide Watch"
and reports from my visit to practice in "The Jim Calhoun Curse Counter"